Off Topic: Who Is "Me"?
1:37 PM
Who is “me”? Who am “I”? Where is the person that I call
myself? I act like I know her but I don’t. I try to be there for everyone and
do everything and I have lost myself in the process. I will be there for
someone no matter how tired or burnt out I am, I will work myself into the dirt
if that means everyone around me will be okay. I try to make everyone happy,
which is impossible, but I try without even realizing that I am trying and
forget what makes me happy along the way. I trick myself into thinking this is
what I want but in reality, it isn’t. I push myself for everyone and end up
having mental breakdown one after the other, not even realizing that it is
because of what I am doing to myself. I forget what I deserve and how I shouldn’t
just be a door mat for people. I forget that at the end of the day I have to
live with my happiness and not everyone else’s. I make excuses for people who
treat me the way that they do because of the situations they are in but does
that mean I deserve to be treated like a door mat? It doesn’t. I do everything that
I can for others and have completely lost who I am. So, who is “me”? I love
with the biggest heart and give all I can for others but who else am I? I don’t
know, even while writing this I still do not know. I know what I am not, I am
not someone else’s door mat and I was not placed here on this earth to be one. I know God has given me a plan he wants me to
carry out and I know that plan is not pushing myself until I break. So, from
this day forward I have promised myself that I will do what makes me happy and take
what I deserve and nothing less. I will find “me” and I will be whoever “me” is.
What I have learned through all of this is that people will do only what they
want. If they want to fight for you, they will do whatever it takes to do so, if
they want to make you happy, they will do whatever it takes to make it happen
and if that person wants to leave, sadly they will no matter what. You cannot put
your happiness on someone else. You are in control of that. I will find “me”
and I will be “me”.
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